In Celebration of Both/And

Following are the words I shared at our homeschool academy senior class graduation on June 4th, 2022.

When I was asked to speak at the graduation for our 2022 senior class, the question came up as to whether I preferred to wait until next year when my son will be sitting up here in one of these seats (Lord willing).  I immediately accepted the invitation to share some thoughts with you today instead because I am positive that next year it’s going to be all I can do to hold it together, to keep from ugly crying my way through the entire ceremony.  I feel it a bit even now as I look at those of you graduating today, some of whom I’ve witnessed grow and mature over the last eight years since we first enrolled here.  There is a weight and a deep meaning to this moment for all of us.

In the past few weeks, as I attempted to come up with words to adequately express what today represents, I began to get curious about the origin of that deep, weighty feeling.  I looked up the dictionary definition of the verb “to graduate” which was not very helpful.  It said,

“To receive a degree or diploma on completing a course of study.”

This definition does not even come close to capturing what’s happening here today.  The truth is that you are sitting in the epitome of what I like to call a “both/and” moment.  The ink is drying on the closing sentence to the chapter of your childhood while you are busily jotting down an attention-grabbing hook for the next part of your story.   You’re standing firmly on a foundation lovingly built by the hands and hearts of your family and community, about to take your first steps down an unfamiliar road among strangers.  You’ve arrived, and yet at the same time, you are just getting started.  It’s the type of moment that doesn’t come along often in a lifetime and therefore calls for us to take notice and treat it with honor.  You owe it to yourselves to let this moment breathe.

God speaks to just such a moment in the book of Ecclesiastes.  Chapter 3 verse 11 tells us that “He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”  Everyone in this room is here to stand alongside you in this end as it becomes a beginning.  We are here to encourage you to grasp tightly onto the God who created you and promises to remain close.  We stand in awe of all He has done and is actively doing within your hearts.  We recognize that though your path will include its fair share of challenges, difficult choices, and consequences, our God has promised to weave those dark strands into the beautiful tapestry of your life, pointing straight back to His goodness.

            Taking the time to breathe is one of those things that I continue to be notoriously bad about as I travel the road of my own story.  Obviously, I’m not referring to the kind of thoughtless breathing that happens automatically in the background of our bodies all day every day without our noticing.  I’m talking about intentional breaths taken slowly and deeply without thought for time or to-do lists or fears and anxieties about what comes next.    The kind of breathing that happens when you slow down, close your eyes, and focus your heart on what it means to be alive.  I mention this because I believe God designed every part of us specifically and with intention.  The simple act of breathing is a reminder of the “both/and” moment we are experiencing right now.  Every exhale is an ending, every inhale a new beginning.   And when you leave this place today headed to parties with the people you love, or to plan the next phase of your future, you will carry this reminder with you.

If you were to read the next few verses in that same chapter of Ecclesiastes, you would find this powerful truth in verse 14:

“I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.”

That’s a big statement.  Everything about who God designed you to be will endure forever.  Just thinking about that makes me a little nervous.  I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that I don’t always like everything about myself.  In fact, there are things about me, words I’ve spoken, choices I’ve made that I sometimes wish would disappear as if they never existed.  But I would not want to give up my identity as a daughter of the King.  The thing is, the two go hand-in-hand.  We are all “both/and” people.  Both compassionate and selfish.  Both motivated and disinterested.  Both Kingdom seeking and self-serving.  All those parts of myself that I wish I could hide from God?  He loves those too.  Nothing can be added nor taken away from the person He created me to be and His plan for my life.  And the same is true for you.

So, as we celebrate this milestone in your journey, a culmination of how you’ve grown, where you’ve been, all that you’ve learned, and those who have nurtured you along the way, I hope that you will embrace the endings and beginnings that make up who you are.  May you recognize the “both/and” nature of being human and allow the same grace to others that you ask for yourself.  I pray that you seek to do what is right over being right.  And most importantly, I pray that you cling tightly to the One whose gaze is ever in your direction, no matter where in the world your story takes you.