They say you can’t go home again, and maybe there’s some truth to that. As you live, learn, and love, as you stumble, fall, and rise again through this life, you can never become the person you were before the lessons, before the breaking and mending. But yesterday I did it, I went home again. Not as a return to who I once was, but standing firm on the foundation that has sustained me and stepping forward into who God has created me to be today.
My Mother’s Day wish was to return to the place where I met Jesus. Back then it was called Fuente de Vida, “Fountain of Life,” a little church in Gardena, California that was the saving grace for my 98 pound Puerto-Rican grandmother – a woman well-aquainted with suffering. She found familia there, family who surrounded her with love in the absence of her natural bloodline thousands of miles away.
These days the place has a new name and a fresh coat of paint, but the faith, the commitment to the Lord and community, shines just as brightly as it did forty years ago. Stepping into the sanctuary of Community Worship Center yesterday, I was immediately family in a room full of strangers. The music and lights were bigger and bolder than the humble keyboard and two tambourines I remember from childhood, but the love was rich and familiar.
There is no doubt that God called me to be in that space on Mother’s Day. Not only to honor the legacy of my grandmother, mi abuelita, a woman who was consistently on her knees uttering the prayers that sustain me today. But also to encourage my heart in being proactive about the legacy I want to leave for my son. I’m not that little girl anymore, sitting on a chair next to the Sunday School teacher who kindly translated the Spanish lesson into English just for me. But that memory is a powerful part of my legacy.
To every woman who mothers her own child, someone else’s children, or a child who has died – to every person who had the opportunity to see or speak to their mother yesterday, and to those who wish for closeness with their own mothers that just isn’t possible – you have a legacy. Your story matters. Your heart matters, to me and to God, on Mother’s Day and every day.
Carrie Joy(ful) 