Miles and Stones

One year is paper. Two years is cotton. Three leather, four linen and flowers, five wood, and so on. The traditional anniversary gift list offers a comprehensive collection of materials, each matched to a year and seemingly more valuable than the last, meant to represent the time invested in a marriage. While the concept is lovely, this list only provides consecutive elements for years one through fifteen, skipping to every fifth year thereafter. So, what does nineteen years getcha? Nothing. Nada. We surpassed Crystal but have yet to achieve the milestone of China.

I’m certainly not against milestones, we delight in them. In literal terms, a milestone marks the distance from one location to the next. It’s also defined as “a significant event or stage in life, progress, or development.” Something worthy of celebration. But this definition implies that the road between two markable places is somehow less meaningful.

I can’t accept that, particularly when the years since our fifteenth wedding anniversary have opened my eyes and stretched my heart in ways I can’t adequately put into words. Every half-step has been an achievement. Every lesson, heartbreak, disappointment, sacrifice, conversation, compromise, forgiveness, and prayer has been meaningful. And even all those things combined and multiplied wouldn’t be enough to bring us to nineteen years. Only the grace of the One who loves perfectly could make up for the vast imperfection of our love.

Frankly, I think we’ve got it backwards when it comes to marking the milestones of life. The steps in between the landmarks cover both solid soil and shifting sands, flat even pathways as well as steep, rocky climbs. They take us through beautiful, magical, treacherous, painful, unimaginable places. The in-between is where we learn and grow, where relationships take shape and are tested. So we’re not waiting for China. We’re going off-book, making our own rules. We’re going to celebrate nineteen with our most prized valuables, the list that really matters – God, family, music, voices, heritage, and community. A step forward by way of returning to our roots in celebration of where we are right now.